just try to help yourself

《It’s eight o’clock in the evening, it’s been dark outside for a long time. The sky is dark, gloomy, illuminated by the light of high-rise buildings. I still don’t want to live in such an atmosphere, everything seems to be coming to an end. I don’t want to think about it, but my thoughts will always be faster than me, faster than my feelings. It would seem as if some little girl is thinking about this world. Maybe someone now thinks exactly the same way as me, where on this earth. Is there a person who looks like me? Or am I the only one with such psychological problems..》 This is how the thoughts sounded in the head of a girl named Spale. A girl of about nine years old, just a little girl. Everyone loved her very much for her kindness, honesty and caring towards everyone. She treated everyone with sincerity and always worried about others. She always thought about.. -< What is it like to receive kindness and care?> It was difficult for her to imagine this, despite the fact that she gives it to everyone from herself. She didn’t think about it very often, but she still had similar thoughts in her head. This little girl was going to third grade, but everyone thought that she looked much younger than her age. Everyone asked her how old she was, and she always answered with her exact date of birth.. -< I was born on the third of January in 8647> But no one believed her, instead everyone laughed at her. But she didn’t really react to it and just left such situations. It was February outside, quite cold, damp and wet. The little girl couldn’t see any snow this winter. She was slightly upset about this, but she still preferred spring or autumn. She often goes out alone; she doesn’t have any girlfriends. There was only one friend when she entered second grade. She really appreciated and adored her, always supported and pleased her in any situation. But you ask why, she was a friend but is no longer. Unfortunately, she passed away last year in December. She and her family were planning to move abroad forever. But later, one day, she finds out that she is gone. She died on the road. This poor girl had asthma and was a very quiet person, literally quiet. You won't hear much from her, not a sneeze or a cough. And while they were driving, she fell asleep. The parents did not notice this, and during sleep, the girl did not receive air and died quietly and peacefully. Doctors still cannot understand how she did not wake up from lack of air. When the girl found out about this, she was very sad within herself. She didn’t want to believe it at all, this girl was the only one she had. She still remembers her, she believes that she is morally nearby. Spale still writes letters to her, without sending them to her, not wanting to upset her parents. Living with this, the girl has no one with whom she could communicate. She didn't even engage in dialogue with herself, she communicated with the thoughts in her mind. She thought it was normal to hear voices in her head. She thought everyone lived with it. While other children from the room where Spale was sleeping, she sat on the bed and drew her with her dead friend. Of course everyone thought she was crazy, but she lived with it.